My boyfriends brothers long term girlfriend ( SIL) is a evil master manipulator and a control freak.
I don't know how to deal with these people because i am real and honest. I hate being fake and playing the game. My situation has been going on for over a year now and it is too long to describe, however today brought back old memories of when she used to live here. she came to visit today and finally i lost it. I have kept my cool for over a year and played the stupid game of being cool and a good person to impress the parents and not ruffle any feathers but i just snapped, i slammed the door in her face ( like she did to me before, only it was just the two of us) the only problem was that my father in law was talking with her when i did it. So when she left i vented on him ( big mistake) about her while ofcourse throwing out the f bombs in anger, then i went upstairs afterward s i curled in a ball and cried like a fool for a few hours and realized that i have fallen victim to her manipulation and shes winning because now i look like a loose cannon.
isnt it funny that all i want is to get along but i end up lookin like the one who wants to fight :(
how can i make this better, any ideas ( please only helpful ideas nothing negative, i really cant handle that right now)
Judge Judy wanted this story for her TV show. Maybe it could be a pilot for a new reality show.
My oldest son is a closet gay. He has spent most of his life hiding,acting, running, talking and doing the "two-step" to keep people in the dark and keep his secret safe. His only problem? He desperately wanted a military career. He had unsuccessfully dated girls through high school and college. But they never stuck around for very long. He continued, slowly, on the path to the US Army and his commission. Fast forward about 10 or so years. He is now WAY over the usual age of the newly enlisted but he is determined to be an officer, he is more scared than ever that his deep dark secret will interfer with his now his imminent enlistment.
Right out of the blue, he calls and he's getting married. WOW! No one knew he was dating anyone!
It was shocking news for more than just me!
So, he brings his new "fiancee" to meet the family. This is where satan entered our lives in the form of Sans H Cristine!
This girl arrived with a bad attitude and a deep insecurity. She never got more than 6" away from my son the whole 3 day visit. Including sitting on his lap while he tried to study for a test he had to take when they got back. She never had a "one on one" conversation with anyone in the family.. They left a BBQ held in their honor and were gone for over 2 hrs. while all the guests waited for them. What were they doing....looking at rocks!
When they left for home, the concensus was that there was no love lost between the family and the new bride to be.
What did we learn from her... hmmm.. sister is gay, mother is remarried to alcoholic, puerto rican descent, doesn't cook, stays out of the sun to make sure she looks white not hispanic, most people dislike her,she told us this!! (weird). She really is FULL of arrogance and selfishness.
No one from our family in the north went to the wedding in Florida. We are damned to burn in hell!
How dare we not go to HER grand production of a wedding!
Her THEME wedding had everything from 12th century monks to scifi creatures from star wars, to my son dressed in his military blues!! 1400 photos later it was a nightmare in living color!
They are both theater people, (where else would a gay man hide in plain site?)
She and her sister proceeded to trash us on the internet by publishing a slander page.
The whole scene has gone from bad to worse, now she calls me a stalker and accuses me of cyber stalking her and hacking into her computer! First, I'm an "ignorant hillbilly"(quote), now I'm a computer geek capable of breaking into her computer from around the world. What a joke!
It has come down to her putting, get this, a LIFETIME protection order on me so I can never contact my son again. I've only met her once and they live half way across the united states.
The police called them ridiculous, using the legal system to suit themselves.
I should be the one putting the P.O. on her for threatening to use her " many weapons and skills" on me.
OH NO!! I forgot she's from a pirate ship or sherwood forest,, or a space ship or a crypt?
Her arrogance even went so far as to send my EX husbands family a letter telling them all her school accomplishments and bragging herself up. They could give a sweet shit! Hysterical!
(She thinks no one here is educated), god forbid you misspell a word, she is positively ANAL about it.
Now that she has been "in the family" for 4 yrs. she's only gotten worse.
The girl is absolutely not cute, attractive or beautiful. Her mouth is enough to make you want to slap her on the spot. We think she is a confused gay like her sister. Of course her sister is nothing but a confused lump of flesh. And the DIL is as shapely as a broom. She plays male parts in the theatre. And she denies being hispanic, what is that??
There it is, my gay son married a probably gay woman, so he can have his military career.
She has shut the family out of my sons life.
We may be from the woods and live a simple life but we are normal, everyday Americans.
When people enter your life from a sick environment, take heed, your whole family could become infected.
We know my son is not in his right mind. His life of hiding has warped him. And his wife has poisoned him.
He is in a world that is NOT where he's meant to be, and he is fearful of really being who he should be.
Thanks for listening.
my name is nikki and i am new here. i'm 24 years old. i have a boyfriend named chris of 2 years that is also 24 years old. his mom lives with us. and i really need someone to vent to that can probably relate to me. that is why i joined this community. maybe you can give me some advice or encouragement even though he and i are not married...?
before we moved in together: chris used to live with his sister, her husband, their twin daughters, the husband's dad and uncle. 7 people in one small house. chris lived in the attic, the sister, husband and twins lived in the middle floor 2 bedroom living quarters, and the dad and uncle lived in the basement. i spent half the week there with chris in the attic because:
a) he wanted me to
b) i went to school in that town and instead of spending 2 hours on the road driving to and from school... it was just easier to stay there.
The other part of the week i lived with my parents' and kept all my stuff over there and only brought an overnight bag to chris'. I kept out of the way. I noticed some conflict occuring in chris' household after about 10 months of dating (no, i didn't live there the whole 10 months... it was like 4 months) so I told chris that I was going to get my own apartment in the summer and get a job and go to school. Chris was like, "hey i want to move out too! we should move in together and i will pay a lot of the bills so you don't have to work all the time since you are already going to school." I was like, "ehhh i don't know... we have only been together for 8 months and i'm going to get low income housing... it's ok." chris started looking for a house to live in and needless to say we moved in together in july.
after we moved in together: july was supposed to be our first month of privacy. but on the 4th of july chris invited his brother, the brother's wife and 2 kids to stay with us for 2 weeks while he was in town... not only did chris invite his brother and his brother's family but also his mom and stepdad for one weekend. we live in a 2 bedroom 1 level house... it is an apartment sized house. the last week in july chris' mom had a very messy split from her husband and moved in with chris' sister for 3 days until chris (unknowingly to me) invited his mom to live with us for a month or so. his mom has been living with us for 7 months!
about his mom: everything is about her. she talks all the time about her past 35 years of life and sometimes more. i could tell you more about his mom's life than i could about my boyfriend's life. the mom has ups and downs all the time... she is on bi-polar medication. she is in therapy because she claims that her last husband hit her for 20 years... her therapist and her medical doctors don't believe her. everyone thinks the ex-husband is a gentle teddy bear and that the mom is an antagonist who picks and picks at people until they lose it. the mom is not only suing her recent ex-husband but also her husband from 20 years ago (chris' dad) for so called "retirement funds" that she thinks she has a right to just because she married them. in all her 50 years she has probably only worked 10 years of her life and has jumped from man to man to support her. she has lived with every one of her adult children for a couple of years. she is living off the government ($200 a month), spousil support from her recent ex ($500 a month), and also her children give her money ($300 a month). she is making $700 more than me a month and she doesn't work for any of it!!!!! and why won't she leave? she says she doesn't have enough money and maybe she doesn't because she keeps suing people!!!!
what his mom does to me: everything is my fault. i don't appreciate her enough even though i listen to her babble on and on all day long. lately she has been watching the news stories about anna nicole all day long. every speculation is truth to her and she tells me all of it.... "you know there was just breaking news right now that it's offical... anna nicole overdosed on methadone!" who cares?!?!?! she complains and cries to my boyfriend every night in their special meetings that take place in her room after he gets home from work for about 3-4 hours about how mean i was to her that day. i didn't do anything to her! i keep to myself because i can't stand her. i pretend i like her. i pretend to listen to her. when i feel like correcting her i bite my tounge, while smiling and nodding i say, "oh really? i did not know that. that is so facinating!" i am making myself NUTS! I know there is no intention of her moving out. she doesn't contribute anything to our household but she thinks she does... she thinks she is our housekeeper but she doesn't clean and she doesn't pay for anything in our house and she doesn't cook. and it's not like i wanted a housekeeper anyway!
what my boyfriend says: he says he lets people walk all over him. that it is hard to see his mom cry like a little baby. that it is hard to make 2 women happy. that we need to work it out and that i need to compliment and be more sympathetic to his mom. he doesn't believe his mom was abused but he lets people come over to the house from church organization to donate clothing to his mom even though she has 20 boxes of clothing piled high in our garage. she has furnature in our garage also that she is not willing to part with. she is the worst pack rat ever.
our future: he says his mom will move out soon... well our lease is up in 4 months. and i'm going away to college in 4 months. my boyfriend says he won't leave his job for me and that he will see me on the weekends. he will end up living with his mother no doubt... they will probably rent this same house out for another year. i am moving 3.5 hours away and i will never see him again. what a loser.
you know. his mom is such a meddler. when she keeps to herself our relationship is fine but when they have these chats in her room all night he isn't willing to do a damn thing for me and doesn't care two shits about me.
conclusion: maybe i will be better off. it's just hard to let go after i have tried so hard to just go off somewhere where i don't know a single soul and try to make a life for myself. this is the longest relationship i have ever been in and i thought it was going somewhere.
Hey all! I have been in this community for a long time now.. but this is my first post. Sorry if it runs a little long.( The whole story...Collapse )
Tue, Oct. 18th, 2005, 12:08 pm
pettypies: Im new
Hey everyone just wanted to say hi this is my first post here and so glad i found someone to vent all my anger about my stupid bitch face sister inlaw.
you will be seeing alot of me.
The letter i would send to my sister inlaw if i ever had the balls to do it
2005-10-17 06:04 am UTC (link)
i just want you to know how angry and upset i am with you. It really hurts me that you think i have trapped your brother and that we moved away so that i could take him away from your family. You really need to grow upand realise the world does not revolve around you and that he is 25 years old and is now a father and he makes his own choices. I think you are nothing more than a manipulating bullying self absorbed bitch. You use people forwhat you want from them at the time and play the victim at all times to get what you want. You will not win with me girlfriend your brother may be blind when it comes to your ways but i certainly am not. You are so controlling and i cant stand it that you only have to turn on the tears to get what you want from him and he will jump to your every need like a puppet on strings. when we came home for your dads funeral i thought to my self that i would make an effort with you and would put all my negative thoughts about you to the side and get along and i actually thought we were until you once again stabbed me in the back. you bullshit me and say that im your sister what a fucken load of shit. i think its wierd the way you are with your brother you all baby him hes 25 fucken years old when are you going to realise he has made a life with me and our son. he wants to move back to nz to be with you all and there is no way i want to go and live in the same town as you infact i dont want to live in the same country as you. you really truly are fucked up and make me sick. i cant beleive people dont see you for who you really are (THE MANIPULATOR) oh poor me i have no money boo hoo please bulid me a house. GET REAL. I know you dont like the fact that im with him you just dont see me for the nice person that i am. At least imnot the town door knob unlike yourself where everyone gets a turn. You want my son to go to childcare with you over my dead body that that will ever happen no freakin way. Its a pity you are such a cow because if you werent i would proabaly be happy to move back as the rest of your family is fine i love the other sisters but cant stand you. Grow up and realise you are not a queen your not the boss and you need help.
Current Mood: angry
hi everyone. im so glad i found this place. im engaged to wonderful bloke who i love completely. but geez i can not STAND his parents sometimes. alrite i dont live with them (thankgod) but not far enough away. my problem is that my fiance and i dont get any peace. his parents must call him about 6 times a day and message him about the same amount too (a fair few times during you know what). wheres the drill? wheres the keys?
when are you coming over? why arent you coming over? have you set a date for the wedding? ( its 21/2 years away) they arent exactly bad people but they are so suffocating! his mum has to invole me in his little sisters relationship problems when she is big enough & mature enough to handle things on her own, she involves herself WAY TOO deeply in her daughters relationship problems and then tries to get me involved. i think that week she called me everyday at work and messaged and called me on the mobile about 20 times!i was that stressed out and tired of her calls i was sick for the next whole week. im scared of what she'll be like if my fiance & i have a tiff! im also scared that she is going to try and run the whole wedding and have it her way.
does anyone else have this problem? suffocating inlaws ? i cant take it anymore!
Hi, I am soooo glad to find people that I STRONGLY relate to. My GOD it's a bitch to live and have to deal with in-laws. I just moved back in with my parents along with my husband and 5 month old daughter. I feel like I was to hell and have finally reached heaven once again. I'm 19 so I don't exactly ahve everything together but we are on the move to getting a place of our own. However, for the time being I can deal with my parents and so can my husband.
Well, after months of wondering if the in-laws would ever talk to me again (not that I cared, but fiance would) I had my first visit with them since my wicked email. MIL and I pretty much had cleared some things up through email, but apparently FIL was still "mad". I'm not sure what he was mad about, but I was told he would not be coming back up to visit. Ever. This surprised me because she always seemed like a grudge-holder, and he seemed easy-going. In retrospect, I can see where she got over it and he didn't. She's so desperate for people to like her, I realized later, that's why she was willing to work it out. He, on the other hand, is like a child and very immature. MIL and BIL came about a month ago, but I was at work and missed them (not intentionally, really!) Well, for this visit BIL had to work, so FIL had to drive (because of course MIL can't handle a 2½ drive *eyeroll*) so he had no choice but to visit. When they first showed up he seemed a little distant, but we all went over to my mom's to swim and all went well.
Even better that they didn't spend the night!