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Mon, Oct. 24th, 2005, 04:03 pm
traylo: Some long due ranting....

Hey all! I have been in this community for a long time now.. but this is my first post. Sorry if it runs a little long.

I am engaged to a wonderful man named Nick.. I love him to death. I even love his Dad to death. However, I am not the biggest fan of his sister.. and I'm liking his mother less and less every day.

My SIL is the most self-centered, greedy, rude, selfish person I have ever met. She plays the victim all the time to her mother to get my MIL against me as well. "Nick never comes to see me cause Traci won't let him" WTF? He's a grown man, I let him do whatever he wants. I hate going to visit my SIL b/c all she EVER does is rag on my fiance to bring him down. She has two children and she refers to him as "Uncle Dumb Ass" to them. She is seriously such a two faced bitch!... To make things even better.. guess where my SIL, her boyfriend and their 2 kids live? ACROSS THE STREET from us!! I used to try to be nice to her, thinking maybe one day she would decide not to hate me, but I have given up. Every time I try to be nice it always comes back to bite me in the ass.

Now for the MIL. I used to like her alot. She seemed really sweet. That is until the SIL moved in across the street from us. Now my distaste for MIL is growing. She never comes to see us anymore when she comes to town.. she always just pokes her head in to say hi, then shes straight over to SIL's. Which, I understand that SIL has kids and we don't...but Nick IS her child!!! You'd think shed stop by to chat once in a while whenever she's in town. One night MIL, SIL, SIL'd boyfriend and 2 kids were all over at Nick and My house to have dinner.. and I walked in MY kitchen and caught MIL & SIL talking crap about me. It hurt me so much that they would do that in my own house. I have been nothing but nice to both of them!! Then whenever Nick commented that he doesn't like how SIL's boyfriend spends all their money on video games and movies and won't let SIL buy the kids new shoes... MIL jumped down Nick's throat for talking badly about SIL's boyfriend. So she'll talk crap about me in my own house.. but no one can say ANYTHING bad about SIL's Boyfriend.... Then comes the icing on the cake... this last time she was down.. MIL & I were having a chat about the wedding and such, when she starts on this rant about how perfect SIL is and how people always liked Nick more than her (which isn't hard to understand) so she admitted that she treats SIL better than Nick to compensate for it. OOOHHHH that pisses me off more than anything. I'd love to say something to her.. but I don't know what or how!! I mean, it sucks that people didn't like SIL, but that is NO reason to treat Nick unfairly to overcompensate. UUGH!!!

Any advice on what I should do to deal with these crazy women would be appreciated!! :)

Mon, Oct. 24th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC)

Kids do change things a lot. My parents and in-laws are more interested in seeing my son than me or my husband. That's ok with be because 1) I don't mind him being the center of attention (it takes it off both the good and the bad stuff about the adults) and 2) I don't have to deal with MIL as much because she hardly notices if I'm there or not. I wouldn't take it too personally that she'd rather see your SIL's kids than you guys. All grandparents get like that when grandbaby's come into the picture :)

I'd have kicked the bitches out of my house for talking badly about me. I know my MIL talks shit about me. But she knows not to do it in my house because she knows I won't put up with it. She does this with my SIL's husband too, in front of their 2 boys. I've flat out told her that I don't care what she says about me as long as she doesn't do it in front of my son (it can take authority away from the parents in the eyes of the child). If I find out she's done this, she will not ever see him alone again. My husband was pissed, but tough shit. I like to nip things in the bud before they start.

It sounds like you need to sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her it hurt you when she and your SIL were talking badly about you. Tell her you used to like her and have a lot more respect for her before that. And tell her it was very disrespectful of you for her to do that in your own house. I'd tell also tell her that you won't allow that kind of negativity in your house again, about anyone in the family not just you. I told my MIL that it's our house rule that we don't talk badly about family in our home and it will not be tolerated. With any of your in-laws, you need to show them that you have a spine and won't be walked all over. You don't have to be a bitch about it though. This is a common problem that younger couples have, families wanting to run their lives. Until you prove that you aren't children any more, it's not going to stop.